The Sandwich Generation

Several years ago I attended a marketing seminar where the buzz phrase, "Sandwich Generation" was introduced.  Today I come to realize that I am now part of that generation.  In fact, my sandwich is identified as a "Club Sandwich."  This is an individual in their 50s and 60s that is sandwiched between an aging parent, adult children and grandchildren.  I imagine it looks something like this ...

My "two cents" for this post is focused on the aging parent layer of my sandwich. It's not easy being elderly, as well as a parent to your parent.  As my mom enters her eighties, I am becoming more and more involved in her daily activities.  As you see,  she has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's/ Dementia.

With that said, my "two cents" is directed at the medical profession.

"DON'T BE SLOPPY--THIS DISEASE IS TOUGH!"

The doctors, nurses, and medical assistants are educated to help families that are dealing with this disease on a daily basis. This is my first rodeo, and so far the medical group we are dealing with are making my ride a bit rough. (NOTE: They are ranked among the best in the area).  It has nothing to do with their knowledge of the disease, it has to do with office protocol adding additional stress to my club sandwich.  For instance, I have said, "What the H?" on numerous occasions to situations such as these . . .

• I specifically spoke to a medical assistant about changing the contact information to reflect me as the primary contact for my mom. Very pleasantly, they agree, with my mom's consent to make the needed notes on her chart to ensure this happens.  However, not once have they gotten this right.  Even after several reminders . . . SERIOUSLY . . . Not only that, when I find out that they called my mom, then I need to return the call, holding on the line for 40 minutes at one point.

• Her primary care physician and the specialist (located in the same facility) gave two different directives.  This put me in the position of questioning the medical decisions they were making.  This took exactly a day and a half for them to communicate with each other to come to an agreement and get back to her, not me ... AMAZING!

• Last, but certainly not least.  The last time we visited with the specialist for Alzheimer's, we heard more about the doctor's meal at The Nittany Lion Inn over the holidays, then we did about the future of this disease.  I'm all about general conversation but this dialogue definitely crossed a line. 

My biggest concern is that God forbid we have a lift-threatening situation.  We may not have 40 minutes to hold on the phone.  We may not have a day and a half to make a decision, and we certainly don't care where anyone is eating their holiday meals.

This journey is going to be challenging ... And this is only one layer of my CLUB SANDWICH.  I have to remind myself daily there is no right way or wrong way to do elderly parent care!